Is Porn Ruining Your Sex Life?

From Girls Gone Wild to racy web cams to cable television, skin is in -- and it's everywhere. But is the proliferation of porn good for society? Is it a safe stress-reliever or venomous home-wrecker? We tapped our best sex experts for their views -- and for tips on heating up your own relationship.

Here are their thoughts on the matter at, um, hand.

"I sincerely believe porn has a therapeutic value for men, women, and couples," says Dr. Ava Cadell, sexologist and founder of Loveology University. "Anyone can look at porn from a negative angle, but remember, there are dramatically different kinds out there. It's not all angry. Some are very feminine. Do your homework. Lots of women tell me how thankful they are for porn."

Nicole Beland, our own Girl Next Door, agrees. "A lot of girls are reluctant to ask for what they want, but that doesn't mean they'd mind trying new things," Beland says.

"If you've been together for a while and talk openly about sex, then her response is likely to be positive. She'll be especially agreeable if you make it a female-friendly flick (Try Toys in Babeland or Good Vibes). Bottom line? No one should settle for so-so sex."

Of course, sometimes porn is just a quick fix. Engage your woman in your real-life sexual fantasies through role-playing. A recent feature, Have Sex with Someone New Every Night (While Staying Faithful), focuses on achieving the sex of your dreams by asking one, simple question.

Beyond the experts, we received lots of opinionated comments from readers on the MH Today blog. Here's what they're saying:

"I find a large number of single guys I counsel with complain that their sex life does not bring them as much pleasure as self-stimulation. When they do actually get laid, the sex they have in no way compares to what they've seen in porn. We can't expect every live sexual experience to match what we've seen."

"Men, forgive me, but porn puts unrealistic expectations on our lovers. Women don't want to be treated this way!"

"I dare you guys to engage with real women in your life, not the ones you see on the screen. I believe you men are MUCH deeper than you have allowed society to make you believe you are."

"Porn has been very beneficial in my life. It taught me to care about how my body looks, I've learned new techniques, gained tremendous amounts of confidence, and had the most amazing sex of my life."

"Porn ruins marriages. It is an addiction just like drugs and alcohol. A wife never knows if her husband is having sex with her or fantasizing about 'them.' I haven't enjoyed sex in a very long time because of this."

"I value real relationships with real people!"

I finally signed up with Bloggerwave

I have been looking for a sideline these past few weeks. Something that can give extra income to support my online activities. I have tried reviewing products, movies and have applied for work at home jobs. Most of these are scams though so I was really hard pressed into finding one. Well, I searched the internet and finally found this site that offers to pay me whenever I review a product or a service they are offering. So, I joined Bloggerwave. Based on what I’ve read from their site, I just need to post an entry of a review on any services or products. It sort of like posting ads on blogs but actually is a bit more different. You don’t need for readers to click on any advertisements or even clutter your blogs with sponsored links. All you need to do is use your blogging skills, say something about the product, post it and have them approve your entry. It’s really quite easy.

This is my first time in joining Bloggerwave so I’ll have to see where this is going to take. If this is going to be productive or not, only time will tell.

U.S. pulls away after closest first half yet to beat Richardson, Mexico 127-100

Nolan Richardson proudly spoke of the scrappy effort his team gave. Mike Krzyzewski was left to defend his players -- and he was on the winning side.

Mexico kept the game respectable into the second half before the United States pulled away for a 127-100 victory Monday night in the second round of the FIBA Americas tournament.

The Americans were never in danger of losing, but also were outplayed for large parts of the second and third quarters by what should have been an overmatched opponent. A U.S. team that was leading nearly every statistical category surrendered 100 points.

"We scored about 130 points, so, it was one of those games where a lot of fouls, a lot of ... it was a different kind of game," Krzyzewski said. "To their credit, they never gave up. They just played every second of the game. For us, we need to move on. We've played great in this tournament. We can play better than we played tonight. But, when we win by 30, I'm not going to complain. That's a good thing."

Carmelo Anthony scored 28 points, tying the American record in an Olympic qualifier. He had 16 in a sensational opening quarter, when the Americans shot 80 percent from the field.

But the Mexicans, who sneaked into the second round through a three-team tiebreaker, outhustled their more talented counterparts for much of the next two periods before the U.S. put them away for good late in the third.

"I'm not into moral victories, but I am into the fact we came back and played extremely hard that second quarter, and that's how my teams have always been," Richardson said. "We never give up and that's why they call it "40 minutes of Hell."

"I told them, 'Let's bring that same intensity to the game tomorrow and see what happens. There's no question I'm very proud of them."

Mexico rarely showed the pressure defensive style the Richardson used at Arkansas, but hustled for offensive rebounds and shot 15-of-28 from 3-point range to hang around.

Kobe Bryant added 21 points, and LeBron James and Dwight Howard had 19 apiece for the United States, which led by only 15 points midway through the third quarter after beating its first four opponents by 48.4 points per game. The Americans face Puerto Rico on Tuesday night.

"They kept playing hard," Anthony said. "The Mexico team never gave up, they fought all the way to the end.

"We've been beating teams by 40, 50 points, so when we win by 20, 25, it don't look right. But at the same time, it was an ugly win but we take it and we're going to get better. I guarantee we're going to get better and be ready for tomorrow."

Romel Beck, who played for UNLV, scored 20 points for Mexico, which plays Brazil on Tuesday.

Richardson beat Krzyzewski for the 1994 national championship when Arkansas edged Duke, but had little hope of winning this matchup. Still, he didn't coach any differently.

Richardson, his hair and mustache now gray, could easily be heard hollering instructions at his players over a Thomas & Mack Center crowd of just 4,028, and gestured frequently during a lengthy discussion with a referee moments after Howard had knocked a pair of Mexican players to the ground late in the first half.

Richardson chatted with Krzyzewski and U.S. assistant Jim Boeheim, another NCAA champion, before the game. But it wasn't long before Richardson had little to smile about.

Krzyzewski made a pair of changes to his starting lineup, going with Chauncey Billups over Jason Kidd and replacing Howard with Amare Stoudemire. It didn't affect the Americans at the start.

Anthony's dunk capped a 17-2 run that gave the Americans a 35-14 lead with a little more than 2 1/2 minutes left in the first quarter. The U.S. made 14 of its first 16 shots before finishing at 16-for-20, taking a 45-23 lead into the second.

However, Mexico outscored the United States 28-20 in the second to make it 65-51 at the break. The smallest U.S. halftime lead had been 19 points Sunday against Brazil. The Americans pulled comfortably ahead early in the third, but Mexico battled back again, pulling to 82-67 on Victor Mariscal's 3-pointer with 4:45 remaining.

"Today was one of those days for us, we've been playing five of the last six days, we were going through the motions a little bit at first," James said. "They're definitely a good team. Nolan Richardson's definitely put together a good team and they shoot the ball really well."

The Americans eventually broke away for good, but the Mexicans still had one last highlight. Beck, who came in as the tournament's No. 2 scorer with 22.8 points per game, had a four-point play late in the third after Bryant fouled him on a 3-pointer.

Anthony, who set the U.S. record for a world championships game last summer with 35 points against Italy, equaled Denver Nuggets teammate Allen Iverson's 28-point night from the '03 qualifier.

The Americans played without reserve Tayshaun Prince, who sprained his ankle Sunday against Brazil.

Krzyzewski said Prince would play Tuesday and that the normal lineup would return.

iPhone unlocking video hits Web

A video showing the founder of a Belfast, Northern Ireland company unlocking the iPhone hit the Web early Wednesday U.K. time as proof that software exists that can unlock Apple Inc.'s device for use with carriers other than AT&T Inc.

In the six-minute video, posted on the iphoneunlocking.com blog, John McLaughlin, founder of Uniquephones, is seen with a PC and an iPhone unlocking the device using software from his company.

In the video, McLaughlin takes the SIM (Subscriber Identity Module) card out of a Vodafone Blackberry device and puts it into the iPhone. He then makes two phone calls using the device. The video was shot at his house in Northern Ireland, he said.

The video, which was shot at McLaughlin's house in Northern Ireland, is of poor quality, as noted in his blog entry. "Sorry about the focus, it was done late night using a Nokia N95, but you'll see the process," he wrote.

Uniquephones already unlocks phones from many manufacturers, including Nokia Corp. and Motorola Inc., and about 60 percent of its customers are in the U.S.

The video is the second time someone has tried to prove a software-only method exists to unlock the iPhone. AT&T has a long-term contract with Apple to be the exclusive U.S. wireless carrier for the phone, a fact that has irked iPhone users who want to have the option of using another carrier's service. The iPhone isn't yet available officially outside the U.S.

The race to unlock the iPhone began as soon as the device hit stores June 29. Beginning last Friday, reports began to surface that a teenager in New Jersey had won. Seventeen-year-old George Hotz, who has since traded his unlocked iPhone for a new car, unlocked the phone via software and hardware modifications, the latter of which required soldering. However, most observers agreed that not many users would want to tinker with such an expensive device this way.

On the same day, a company called iPhoneSimFree.com and McLaughlin both claimed to have the first software-only unlocking method, but iPhoneSimFree.com was the first to show it to a credible third party, an editor of Engadget.com.

McLaughlin had planned to post his company's method for unlocking the iPhone to the Web site iphoneunlocking.com last Saturday, but it didn't go up. He said he feared legal action by AT&T Wireless if he posted the software because of a phone call he received at 3:00 a.m. in Belfast from a representative of O'Melveny & Myers LLP, an international law firm calling on AT&T's behalf. McLaughlin claimed the caller said Uniquephones.com would be distributing and infringing upon the copyright of Apple's intellectual property if he began selling the software to iPhone subscribers.

As of Tuesday, McLaughlin said he is still undecided whether he will distribute the software, but that the video at least proves to naysayers that his company has unlocked the iPhone.

What Her Body is Telling You

Pupils

If she's feeling stimulated by you (not just sexually), her pupils will dilate. That's because her body is programmed to want to see more of whatever's exciting her, so her brain tells her irises to let in more light. Bonus: As the inkiness spreads, she'll start looking better to you, too. Research shows that men rate women with larger pupils as more attractive. Time to make your move.

Eyelashes

Hold her gaze for a minute. If she's blinking more than normal (which is about 15 times a minute), there's a good chance she's on the Pill; women on birth control blink 32 percent more than those who aren't. Aside from the obvious, what does that mean for you? Put on your toughest, most confident mug as you look at her. Because of the shift in hormone levels, research says, women on the Pill are more attracted to men with rugged features, such as strong, wide jaws.

Brain

She's matching you drink for drink, you're starting to feel like reenacting Animal House, but she seems like her same old self. What's the deal? Men and women get different kinds of buzzes: Men lose inhibitions, while women become sedated. If you're looking to get her into the party spirit, don't feed her more alcohol. Instead, feed the jukebox. Research shows that mid- to fast-tempo music will make her more social.

Belly

Want to know if it's a good or bad time to broach a tricky conversation? You can tell if she's suitably relaxed by her breathing pattern. If her stomach pulls in with each inhalation, she's taking shallow breaths from her chest, which indicates stress. Keep your distance. If her abdomen and chest expand with each inhalation, she's taking deeper, more rhythmic breaths -- a sign of relaxation. Go for it.

Nose

Her sense of smell is sharpest first thing in the morning, which, aside from being a good reason to brush your teeth immediately, makes it the best time to impress her with your culinary skills. That's because 90 percent of taste is really smell. Treat her to a breakfast in bed consisting of warmed banana-nut bread, which has an aroma that, according to one study, increases bloodflow to the vagina. And that may lead to a different kind of morning treat.

Chest

Sex flush, a pinkish look to the skin of her chest, occurs during foreplay. It stems from changes in blood pressure and circulation, along with pulse and respiration rates. Think of it as her coy way of telling you that if you keep doing what you're doing, you just might get lucky. Another sign that things are working: A woman's breasts grow by as much as 25 percent as things turn hot and heavy.

Small of Her Back

As she moves toward orgasm during sex, she'll begin to arch her back. Hold her tight around the small of her back at this point and stay attuned to how much she's arching. And, for God's sake, do not let up; maintain the same rhythm and intensity of stimulation until she climaxes. She'll pay you back for this later, with interest.

Fingernails

Pay attention to her fingers; among the surest signs of anxiety or depression in a woman are body-focused repetitive behaviors, such as skin picking and nail biting. If you see her doing that, don't nag her to stop; that can send her deeper into a spiral. Instead, gently pull her hand away, give it a squeeze, and hold on to it. Feel the tension ooze right out.

Hands

If it seems as if she always has cold hands, that's because she does -- almost 3 degrees colder than yours, possibly more if she's stressed. Women's bodies, even more than men's, are programmed to keep their cores warmer than their extremities. So to warm her hands up, don't massage them; wrap your arm around her waist. This will warm her core and allow blood to flow back into her hands.
Between Her Legs

Okay, you know enough about your partner's menstrual cycle to know when to leave her alone. Now add this to your arsenal: Two weeks after her period begins, she will be at her horniest, guaranteed. Female sexual motivation is highest when she's ovulating. Warning: This is also when she's most likely to get pregnant.

Be The Perfect Date for Her

90% of women say tarnished teeth will sink your bid for a first kiss.

The gleam of your grin is a token of your hygiene, says Leil Lowndes, author of Undercover Sex Signals. “A hint of yellow will stop her from imagining kissing you.”

Pass Her Test: Whitening buys sparkle, but diligence keeps teeth shining. The Ultreo brush ($150, ultreo.com) uses ultrasound to stir up a wall of hyperactive bubbles, removing nearly twice as much plaque as other electric toothbrushes, say University of Washington researchers.

73% of women say gnarly nails guarantee a hands-off evening.

She knows there’s no link between finger length and penis size. Still, your hands are a crucial checkpoint, no matter your glove size.

Pass Her Test: Eat three eggs a week. Yolks are packed with the vitamin biotin, which ups production of keratin, a protein that strengthens nails, says David E. Bank, M.D., director of the Center for Dermatology, Cosmetic and Laser Surgery in Mount Kisco, New York. Brawny nails fight off hangnails and help keep your cuticles in check. Bonus: Biotin helps thicken hair.

60% of women say crummy kicks will mar your chances for mating.

If you can’t lace up a polished pair that match your pants, she’ll think your dowdiness carries over to the rest of your life, says Susan Rabin, author of How to Attract Anyone, Anytime, Anyplace.

Pass Her: Test Most women aren’t expecting $700 Bruno Maglis. But they do want you to stand out from the ill-shod pack. Start with these versatile staples: brown or black dressy lace-ups (try Cole Haan or Johnston & Murphy); leather, nonathletic trainers (Geox or Aldo); and sharp but laid-back loafers (Tods or Rockport). You can pair any of these with slacks, khakis, or jeans.

97% of women say winging the evening isn’t romantic.

“A woman looks at how you plan for her as an indication of your dependability and your excitement about her,” says Lauren Frances, author of Dating, Mating and Manhandling.

Pass Her: Test Prove that she’s on your mind and scope out a postprandial spot. “Guys tend to drop the planning ball after the meal, and that makes her question your motives,” says Lowndes. Scout several staging areas for phase two — a quaint dessert place, a tucked-away bar with a killer jukebox — so if one doesn’t strike her fancy, you’ll have backups.

90% of women say a single vein-popping outburst can be a serious speed bump.

Drive like Mad Max and you’ll soon be riding solo. Women equate the way you handle a tailgater or MapQuest miscue with how you’ll treat them when adversity strikes, says Frances.

Pass Her Test: Stow the middle finger and defuse a traffic slight with sarcasm to show her you’re cool in a jam but not a pushover. And ditch those cumbersome online directions. Instead, invest in a handheld GPS system. We like the Garmin Nuvi 200 GPS ($430, garmin.com). It has all the bells and whistles without the eye-popping price.

Microsoft Issues High Heat Warning on Xbox Racing Controller

In the second incident this summer, Microsoft Corp. admitted this week to another overheating problem in the hardware it sells to video gamers.

The 230,000 owners of its US$130 Xbox 360 Wireless Racing Wheel should order and apply a free retrofit, Microsoft said Wednesday, before continuing to use the driving game controller when it's plugged into a power outlet. "A component in the Wheel chassis may in rare cases overheat and release smoke when the AC-DC power supply is used to energize the Wheel," the company said in a warning posted to its Xbox 360 site. No property damage or injuries have been reported, the company claimed.

Until they receive the retrofit, users should run the wheel on batteries only, the advisory continued.

The wireless controller, which offers "force feedback" -- shuddering and pulling that mimics a real stressed-out steering wheel -- works with such titles as "Test Drive Unlimited" and "Need for Speed: Carbon."

The too-hot wheel follows the far more expensive repairs to the Xbox 360 itself that Microsoft conceded earlier this summer. In early July, company executives announced a $1 billion-and-change charge to pay for an Xbox warranty extension and the ensuing fixes to what some analyst have calculated as one in three video game consoles. The Xbox, said Microsoft then, suffered from design flaws and "an unacceptable number of repairs."

Xbox 360 overheating has been long suspected by users and analysts as the most likely cause for the high rate of unit failures, although Microsoft has declined to get that specific.

Microsoft has posted a retrofit kit request form on its site, and is also taking calls at 1-800-4my-Xbox.